A dark cavern where conversations go to die

I promised you musings and ramblings, and now I’m ready to deliver. I will be posting reviews of the show “You” that’s available on Netflix. I’m watching season 1, and will be reviewing all the episodes, publishing one review a day. I will be posting my ramblings just as they are – one proof-read for errors, and then off they go, no internal editor. Let’s see how it goes. And obviously, SPOILER ALERT!

SEASON 1, EPISODE 5

  • Joe is the last real feminist left in this Bachelor-watching world. You go, Joe!
  • “Lynn is a dark cavern where conversations go to die.”
  • Peach can’t be this easily fooled by Joe, right? Right? And of course they had to bring James Franco into this. I’m surprised his name didn’t come up sooner.
  • Need any more proof that Beck is the worst? How about letting Peach look through Joe’s apartment when he’s not home? Girl searched through all his drawers and stuff – and Beck just stood there. And then had the nerve to snipe at Joe.
  • No, Beck. You’ve got TWO stalkers, and why they’re both obsessed with you, I’ll never know.
  • Of course Peach is still alive, you idiot! I think we’ve established that you’re incapable of bludgeoning a person on the head once and killing them for good. Has the Benji incident taught you nothing?! Even if Peach didn’t see you behind her, you left the rock with her blood and your fingerprints next to the crime scene, you moron! I swear, you and Beck deserve each other. Two idiots.
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Look who’s talking, too

I promised you musings and ramblings, and now I’m ready to deliver. I will be posting reviews of the show “You” that’s available on Netflix. I’m watching season 1, and will be reviewing all the episodes, publishing one review a day. I will be posting my ramblings just as they are – one proof-read for errors, and then off they go, no internal editor. Let’s see how it goes. And obviously, SPOILER ALERT!

SEASON 1, EPISODE 4

  • I hope the new voice-over is the way to make Beck seem more interesting and less of a waste of everyone’s time. The Captain is an intriguing prospect, and I hope it’s not code for “Her father is still alive and pervy”. It would be funny if it was Peach’s code name, and they had a hot secret affair. But I doubt that’s where we’re headed.
  • I have a feeling that both Joe and Peach will follow Beck to her secret weekend with the Captain.
  • “You are the worst friend”, that’s right, Beck, you are! Also you don’t need the word “friend” for that sentence to be true. You’re just the worst.
  • Must we re-live this awful eight-second sex scene over and over again? And please tell me that we’re not going to see all the scenes this way now? First her perspective, and then his. It was bad enough when Shades of Grey did this, YOU don’t need to resort to that. YOU are better than this.
  • We need more of Joe’s co-worker on this show, he’s so wonderfully hipster! And I never call hipsters wonderful, but this guy gets a pass for taking balalaika lessons, ha-ha!
  • Yep, the dad is still alive, how original. At least don’t make them have an affair…
    So they’re going to a Dickens festival – at least he’s not a magician, like I thought when I first saw his outfit.
  • Peach is doing some snooping, good girl. She looks fierce, by the way. Apparently, Sofia Vergara is not the only woman who can successfully pull off leopard print.
  • Joe had two choices: run from the Dickensian time machine, or stay and lure Beck into another trap. Guess which one his chose?
  • The narration is evenly distributed between Joe, Beck and – my favorite one – Silence. So I was worried for nothing.
  • See, this is why audio-books aren’t for me. I’m listening to Beck’s story, and it sounds awful. But on paper it might be a different story. Hopefully. I mean, if Blythe herself approves then it’s gotta be good. Or maybe Blythe approves ironically? Or maybe Blythe knows nothing? So many questions…
  • Ew, why is Beck taking selfies on the toilet? Like, a lot of selfies? Do people do that? Is that a thing?
  • How did Joe get into Peach’s apartment? He had to call in a gas leak in order to get into Beck’s little apartment. But he can just waltz into Peach’s brownstone and return her book without anyone noticing?! I’m calling bullshirt on this.

Sky rockets in flight, premature delight

I promised you musings and ramblings, and now I’m ready to deliver. I will be posting reviews of the show “You” that’s available on Netflix. I’m watching season 1, and will be reviewing all the episodes, publishing one review a day. I will be posting my ramblings just as they are – one proof-read for errors, and then off they go, no internal editor. Let’s see how it goes. And obviously, SPOILER ALERT!

SEASON 1, EPISODE 3

  • But you’ll tell us about Candace, right, Joe? You’ll tell us what deadly allergy you used to kill her.
  • This no-curtains thing is really bothering me. How can she not have curtains?? How does she sleep at night? I get that she wants to put herself on display for all the Dan Humphreys of the world to give her much-needed validation, but you also gotta get some sleep. And how the fork is that possible with all the street lights glaring through your unprotected windows?! I don’t close the curtains in my kitchen, because that’s where I crack open the window to get some air into the apartment. And let me tell you, my kitchen is so bright at night, you could read in there. And my apartment is on the seventh floor, so I don’t even get all of the glaring lights. But an apartment on the first floor, with no trees blocking the view, gets all the lights. This probably shouldn’t bother me so much, but it does.
  • I love that Beck is now working with a female professor, which she thought would be a blessing, but it’s going to turn out worse for her than the predator professor. Alright, maybe not worse, but equally bad for her job. Cause working with women, especially with female bosses is the worst – I have first-hand experience in that area. There will be this rivalry that you don’t have with men. Sure, this is not politically correct to say anymore, but it doesn’t make it incorrect. Human nature doesn’t change just because something is suddenly deemed inappropriate by society. People still have their instincts, and they’re going to act on those instincts before they turn on their brains to reconsider. So you can talk all you want about “Girls supporting girls” – I have that T-shirt and I love it – and female empowerment, but you’re still gonna encounter catty bitches who will be jealous of your potential and who will passive-aggressively get in the way of your success.
    Go on, show, prove me wrong!
  • How can you tell that a story is brilliant from a few sentences?! That’s even more stupid than the curtains. Which by the way is the reason why Joe, and everyone who walks by your building, knows that your bedroom is too small, Beck! Buy some goddamn curtains while you’re in this fancy non-Ikea store! Ugh. Beck is the worst, so it makes total sense that Joe becomes obsessed with her.
  • I gotta say, watching a guy fumble through a kidnapping, a poisoning and a disposal of a body is quite refreshing. Most killers in movies, even unintentional ones, know exactly how to off someone and then get rid off the evidence. But not Joe. Apparently all the Stephen King books in the world cannot prepare you for dealing with oozing, smelly dead bodies. At least he managed to get away with it, for now.

Highway to the Friend Zone

I promised you musings and ramblings, and now I’m ready to deliver. I will be posting reviews of the show “You” that’s available on Netflix. I’m watching season 1, and will be reviewing all the episodes, publishing one review a day. I will be posting my ramblings just as they are – one proof-read for errors, and then off they go, no internal editor. Let’s see how it goes. And obviously, SPOILER ALERT!

SEASON 1, EPISODE 2

  • Not only does Beck not own curtains, but she also never looks out of her window. Otherwise she would have seen Dan Humphrey staring into her little apartment. She also never looks around when she’s outside, or she would have seen Dan Humphrey stalking her. What a moron…
  • See, this is the show that Dan Humphrey, the character, was created for! Not that stupid Gossip Girl, although that show makes so much more sense now. Dan Humphrey – your friendly homicidal stalker. Not yet homicidal, it seems, but we’re headed that way, right? Especially since this douchebag Benji is getting more annoying by the minute.
  • Dan Humphrey getting friend-zoned by a leggy blond yet again? Karma truly is a bitch.
  • Oh this poor little neighbor kid breaks my heart… sweet little bookworm! His life is so shitty, but at least he has the friendly sociopath to keep him company and give him books.
  • I’m afraid Joe is a killer, even if he denies it now. What about that girl who suddenly left for Rome? I have a feeling that she didn’t go that far and is never coming back. Still, it’s interesting that he’s getting his hands on Benji’s secrets by promising not to kill Benji.
  • Wait, he’s really gonna let Benji go!? I can’t believe that. Also I don’t believe that Joe is NOT a killer, but we shall see.
  • Also I just realized that I’m calling him Joe and not Dan Humphrey anymore. Which means that this show is doing a great job. Well done, show. And well done, Joe, getting a kiss from your dream girl! Can’t wait to see how fast this escalates into Beck being locked in that cellar after Benji’s corpse gets dragged out of there in the middle of the night. Cause I’m assuming that’s poison in Benji’s fancy coffee, right? As it turns out not even poison – peanut butter. At least one of Benji’s allergies was real.

Dan Humphrey 2.0

I promised you musings and ramblings, and now I’m ready to deliver. I will be posting reviews of the show “You” that’s available on Netflix. I’m watching season 1, and will be reviewing all the episodes, publishing one review a day. I will be posting my ramblings just as they are – one proof-read for errors, and then off they go, no internal editor. Let’s see how it goes. And obviously, SPOILER ALERT!

SEASON 1, EPISODE 1

I get that it’s the concept of the show, but HOW THE FORK DOES BECK NOT HAVE CURTAINS?!?!?!? She lives on the first floor of a New York City building. How can she not have curtains?! I know that she’s not supposed to have them to allow Dan Humphrey a view into her little life, but come on, writers, figure out another way for him to spy on her because this is just unrealistic!
And of course she had to lend on top of him when he pulled her off the train tracks. Vomiting on him was a nice touch.
“You waste of hair” – that’s a great insult. Dan Humphrey’s greatest asset was his hair, so he would know.
Where is this Pollyanna even from? She doesn’t have curtains, she doesn’t lock her phone, she gives her digits to strangers, she has sex with douchebags…. Girl, you’re a mess.
Alright, we’ve dispensed with the douchebag soda mogul already – good for you, show!… hold up, that dude is still alive. Hopefully not for long though, right? And perhaps he’s here to get tortured in gruesome ways? That would be cool too.