Consider me disturbed

This is the final review of Season 1, but come back tomorrow for an overview of the season!

I promised you musings and ramblings, and now I’m ready to deliver. I will be posting reviews of the show “You” that’s available on Netflix. I’m watching season 1, and will be reviewing all the episodes, publishing one review a day. I will be posting my ramblings just as they are – one proof-read for errors, and then off they go, no internal editor. Let’s see how it goes. And obviously, SPOILER ALERT!

SEASON 1 EPISODE 10

  • Finally Beck is in the book dungeon! Not that I’m happy she’s there – even though she is THE WORST – but it’s what the season has been building up to and I’m glad that we’ve arrived. We still don’t know what happened to Candace, so my theory of her being locked in Ivan’s brownstone book dungeon could still be turn out to be true. Before I didn’t think it was plausible that Candace was alive and kept prisoner by Joe because he never ever visited her, or even had a chance to do that off-screen, but now that we’ve seen that Ivan is still alive and could be faking his stroke injuries, for all we know, I have a feeling that Candace could still be alive in his basement. And again, I don’t wish that on her, but I love a good kidnapping/hostage story – don’t judge me.
  • “You can trust me”, says the girl who repeatedly cheated on Joe and lied to him on multiple occasions. And of course Joe is gonna fall for it because he lurves her, poor bastard. Now she’s gonna try to escape, and fail, and things will escalate, and we won’t find out what happened to Candace until season 2. Ugh… Come on, show, prove me wrong!
  • So… I was partially right. Joe didn’t fall for Beck’s lies the first time, but eventually she wore him down, made him open the cage, stabbed him with some typewriter keys which I thought was pretty badass and… and then it all went downhill from there. Once again Beck proved to be THE WORST and very, very dumb. How could she not have locked the cage and taken the keys?! Was she not aware that the basement door was locked and only Joe had the keys? That’s why no one could find her or Benji in the book dungeon! And don’t tell me that she was not in her right mind, because she came up with stabbing him with those typewriter keys and locking him in the dungeon. Well, pretending to lock him and run upstairs WITHOUT THE KEYS. And then, by some miracle, she managed to outrun him and bludgeon him in the head with a mallet – the writers’ love for head-bludgeoning is strong – yet she didn’t make sure that he was dead or at least unconscious before she ran upstairs again to fumble with some keys and finally seal her fate. Good riddance, say I.
  • And now for the cliffhanger ending that I predicted. I still stand by my theories that Candace is either super-dead or locked up somewhere. Or at the very least, she escaped from Joe’s attempted murder, in which case she could have come back completely unscathed, with that exact same haircut and be all, We have unfinished business to discuss. Although there might be something else going on with those two, something other than what happened with Beck. In which case I’d be happy to be proved wrong by this show. And yes, I will be waiting for Season 2, please and thank you!
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Get off my roof!

I promised you musings and ramblings, and now I’m ready to deliver. I will be posting reviews of the show “You” that’s available on Netflix. I’m watching season 1, and will be reviewing all the episodes, publishing one review a day. I will be posting my ramblings just as they are – one proof-read for errors, and then off they go, no internal editor. Let’s see how it goes. And obviously, SPOILER ALERT!

SEASON 1 EPISODE 9

  • From the looks of Joe’s nightmare he burned Candace alive, or maybe just her boyfriend, cause he’s the one with the burned face, and Candace isn’t. But that might be because Joe doesn’t want to remember her all burned up.
  • Why don’t we hear Beck’s voice-over anymore? Not that I miss it. We’ve established that I hate her. But I also don’t like shows dropping narrative devices, like someone’s voice-over. They used it in just one episode, and that seems like a waste.
  • See, Joe has always been a killer. I knew it. When he was all, Oh I’m not a killer, I’d rather keep Benji in the book dungeon and figure out what to do with him later – that was all bullshirt. He’s been killing people for a long time, and probably small animals before that, like any self-respecting serial killer does. They all start with torturing kittens or puppies, and the next thing you know they’re pushing people off roofs or poisoning them with peanut oil.
  • Oh hey, it just occurred to me that Candace’s boyfriend has a smashed face from being thrown off a roof, and not a burnt face like I previously thought. So it’s still unclear what happened to Candace, but we can safely say she’s no longer with us. Or as my wilder theory goes, she’s kept in a book dungeon somewhere, or perhaps a Buffalo Bill style hole in the ground.

The most analog princess in all the land

I promised you musings and ramblings, and now I’m ready to deliver. I will be posting reviews of the show “You” that’s available on Netflix. I’m watching season 1, and will be reviewing all the episodes, publishing one review a day. I will be posting my ramblings just as they are – one proof-read for errors, and then off they go, no internal editor. Let’s see how it goes. And obviously, SPOILER ALERT!

SEASON 1 EPISODE 8

  • Three months after the break-up and things are looking up for Joe. He hasn’t killed or kidnapped anyone, he has a (mostly) great relationship with his neighbor’s sister, he is hardly even cyber-stalking Beck and not at all stalking her in real life. And if all this sounds too good to be true it probably is, so I can’t wait to see a twist where none of this is happening, and Beck has been locked in Joe’s book dungeon for the past three months.
    Speaking of Beck, she’s also doing amazing. She’s the hot new writer with a strong online presence and a book deal, she has a new pretentious pushy friend to rival Peach, and she’s still being a selfish ass-hat to her existing friends. Can’t wait to see how terrible her book turns out to be! I’m sure it will be on par with Dan Humphrey’s horrible book – and no, I can’t forget that character, even though I don’t call Joe Dan Humphrey anymore.
  • And would you look at that, Ethan (the sweet teddy bear of a book salesman has a name!) and Blythe are moving in together. Cause when you know you know, and also apparently you find an affordable apartment on Manhattan at a drop of a hat. Which reminds me, the fact that Beck is still living in her old curtain-less apartment means that she’s still working at the university? Cause that was the whole deal with trying to keep her TA job by any means necessary – without it she would have lost her housing. Yet we never see her working or even attempting to work on anything but her awesome first book. Oh well, these show runners haven’t applied logic to any of Beck’s living arrangements – those bloody curtains are giving me nightmares – so why would they even try to justify Beck living in the same apartment despite clearly not working at the university anymore?
  • John Stamos is great in this role! And the way that they’re framing the shrink sessions is kind of exciting. Joe and Beck talking about the same relationship, echoing each other, only Joe is talking about “Ronaldo” and it’s so funny every time I hear it. Not to mention that Joe is sticking with the same therapist that he thought about killing before. I suppose it keeps him close to Beck and despite all his protestations that he’s fine without her, he likes to stay connected to Beck, if only through a shrink.
  • BECK IS THE WORST! Stop coming on to Joe, you bench! He has a kick-ass girlfriend who’s not bringing out the worst in him, and you are a parasite who uses people – Peach was so right about you.
  • On top of having zero curtains, Beck also has the flimsiest windows in all of New York City. Joe barely threw that tiny rock and the glass is shattered, wtf?! How does she deal with strong wind or rain? At this rate she should have zero curtains and zero windows. Oh how I hate her apartment, and also her…
  • Oh stop it, Paco. It’s not Joe’s fault that your mom is an addict. He was really trying to help, in fact he was helping. Even before offering his book dungeon up for free rehab facilities. He used to buy you books and sandwiches – don’t you remember that, Paco? I guess you don’t.
  • And good for Karen to have that talk with Beck. It won’t do her any good, but I’m glad they’re bringing up Candace again. I’m dying to know what happened to her! The easy answer is that Joe killed her. The boring answer is that she moved somewhere far away from him. The twisted, demented answer is that Joe is keeping Candace in another book dungeon somewhere, but that’s far-fetched even for this show.

The downfall of a dream girl

I promised you musings and ramblings, and now I’m ready to deliver. I will be posting reviews of the show “You” that’s available on Netflix. I’m watching season 1, and will be reviewing all the episodes, publishing one review a day. I will be posting my ramblings just as they are – one proof-read for errors, and then off they go, no internal editor. Let’s see how it goes. And obviously, SPOILER ALERT!

SEASON 1 EPISODE 7

  • Oh let me guess, Joe. Over the next few weeks you realized that you’re in a real relationship with a real person, and that’s not the same as all your fantasies, so you started to feel weird about it. Not to mention that Beck never properly healed from Peach’s death. I hope I’m not right about this, cause if I’m right then this show is predictable and boring.
  • So this is obviously a fake-out episode. Only a fake-out to distract us from what?…
  • Joe is investigating Beck’s therapist by pretending that he has problems with his boyfriend, Ronaldo. Nice one, Joe.
  • “Everybody hates Dreiser” – true that, brother.
  • Aren’t they going to suffocate on candle fumes in that glass chamber? It does have air holes, but it’s probably not enough for proper ventilation.
  • Excuse moi, but since when does a Sagittarius crave attention?! It’s the first I’m hearing of this – and I’m a Sagittarius, so I know what they say about my sign. And while we are social butterflies, we don’t crave attention. We generally attract it by being the life of the party, ha-ha.
  • Is it just me, or is Beck super-annoying? And not worth all the carnage? I know I’ve said it plenty of times that Beck is the worst, but she really is THE WORST. Like, why can’t she turn off the sound on her phone? The constant ding of messages would drive anyone mad, even if there was no cheating involved.
  • Say what?! Joe realized the error of his ways and is ready to let Beck go? That looks sane and rational, which tells me that something messed up is about to happen cause we have three more episodes to go and they need to be filled with something other than Joe quietly pining for Beck and peacefully stalking her. Something crazy has to happen, otherwise this show makes no sense.
  • We get another glimpse of Candace that let’s us know that craziness is indeed coming. Oh good!

I bruise like a peach

I promised you musings and ramblings, and now I’m ready to deliver. I will be posting reviews of the show “You” that’s available on Netflix. I’m watching season 1, and will be reviewing all the episodes, publishing one review a day. I will be posting my ramblings just as they are – one proof-read for errors, and then off they go, no internal editor. Let’s see how it goes. And obviously, SPOILER ALERT!

SEASON 1, EPISODE 6

  • Peach is good, very good at her game. Joe has found a worthy adversary, and we have found some good drama on this show.
  • This show is brilliant! The whole episode was leading up to the confrontation between Joe and Peach. I knew it was coming, it was inevitable – the only outcome of Joe’s desperate trip to Greenwich. And yet he managed to stay hidden for so long in that giant house that I even started to doubt my previous theory. Glad that I was wrong! The build-up of tension was expertly executed, so that we arrive at the confrontation not entirely sure how Joe will get out of this mess. And again, I know that he has to get out of it, so that the show can continue, but how can he possibly turn the situation around when no odds are in his favor right now?
  • Now Peach is truly gone, too bad – I really liked her. I hope that Joe doesn’t get away with it, given all the evidence he was bound to leave behind without realizing it. That pee jar, for one, and I’m sure there’s other evidence, but they might not look into it, given the apparent suicide. RIP Peach and her fierce eyebrows!

223 Orchard Street, by Renee Ryan

Please note that my rambling reviews almost always CONTAIN SPOILERS!

I was in the mood for historical fiction, and this was alphabetically the first choice of NetGalley books, so that was that. I was excited about the time period and the set-up of two Irish sisters trying to make it in America, one arriving a year after the other. The narrative is third-person but the events are relayed from both sisters’ perspectives which is the optimal balance between detachment and getting to see the world through the character’s eyes.

So all was well for the first couple of pages. Katie gets a summons from the immigration department to collect her sister from Ellis Island, but when she gets there it turns out that little sister Shannon has been detained due to a mysterious illness and might get deported. Katie can only wait and see what the verdict will be.On the way back Katie encounters a familiar figure – Doctor “my friends call me Ty” Brentwood who instantly recognizes her. Despite seeing dozens of patients every day, Ty somehow remembers this lovely girl with Cupid bow lips and big eyes and is drawn to her because she reminds him of a mysterious mistake he made in the past……

And that’s when I realized that this is a romance novel, and I got the urge to barf.

At least it’s not too sappy. After the initial Harlequin descriptions and lots of INTENSE MOMENTS between two strangers, the relationship between Katie and Doctor Ty comes back to reality… well, it gets closer to it anyway. 


Writing style: Flows naturally, is easy to follow. Dialogue stumbles a bit, but finds its rhythm eventually.


Immigration issue: paints a vivid picture of immigrant life and struggle. I had no idea how awful the process of entering the country was. I thought the hardest part was surviving the journey on crowded ships, but I was wrong. It’s much worse to get denied entry on a medical issue that’s not even explained to you.


Ty’s “dark” past: this whole thing with Ty being so dark and dangerous and destroying all the good and beautiful things in his path is so bogus. So he had one surgery that went terribly wrong – so what? It’s not something to be taken lightly, for sure, but it’s not like he botched it on purpose. It’s not like he was drunk or high during the surgery. It’s not like he straight-up murdered that woman and her newborn baby. So what’s the damn problem?! I understand that he’s feeling guilty as hell, and like no amount of lives saved can bring those two back. I get that. But it was a mistake – doesn’t he realize that as a doctor?! It was a complicated procedure that he’d never done before. Plus it was the turn of the twentieth century, people! Medical science was not so advanced back then. Even now people are still dying on operating tables or they never come out of anesthesia. It’s tragic but it happens, and it’s hardly ever the doctor’s fault (unless he’s drunk or high, as I’ve already said). 


Which brings me to why the inevitable romance between Katie and Ty is so annoying. The author is trying to turn Ty into a villain to artificially create an obstacle that they will have to overcome. Like there can’t be anything else that’s keeping them apart? Something that feels organic and not forced? Even having his wealthy family being opposed to him romancing a poor Irish girl would be better. Sure, it would be a cliche, but at least that’s something that actually happened and still happens to people. Pretending that a good doctor suddenly turned into Doctor Doom because of one fatal surgery is bullshit.


And this is where the rambling really gets going…


Overall it feels like this book lacks plot. I’m at the half-mark right now and nothing much has happened. The pages are instead filled with “inner monologue” that all reads the same – as a description of generic feelings of the three main characters. It’s a straightforward description and therefore lacks the ability to get you attached to the characters. You can’t even tell which one of them is “feeling” what, unless you pay close attention. Shouldn’t the characters have their own distinct voices and characteristics?


A little over the halfway mark and I’m reeeeealy bored. Nothing much is happening, the characters keep going round in circles… Katie and Ty are drawn to each other but keep talking themselves out of it because OBSTACLES (that don’t actually matter). Shannon is pregnant and alone, but keeps telling herself that her beloved Liam is on the next boat over to America! (which honestly is NOT happening). And that’s it, basically. Why am I reading this again?!


OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, Liam actually came to America!?! WHY??? At least give me something that doesn’t suck about this book. But no… I guess this inspirational romance gotta inspire and there’s nothing inspirational or romantic about the guy who knocked you up out of wedlock and turned out to be an actual creep. Ugh…


So in conclusion, I tried to see this romance that betrayed me by being a romance, from the point of view of someone who actually likes romance novels. And you know what? It still doesn’t work! The insta-attraction between Katie and Ty is forced, their initial avoidance of each other is forced, their inevitable attraction to each other is forced. It was outright laughable when Ty became SO jealous of that girl’s brother who came to tell him that Shannon was bleeding to death. Ty was all, So he’s making moves on my Katie – I challenge thee to a duel! Bitch, please. Shannon’s romance with Liam is even worse because it’s mostly talked about and Liam is clearly set up to be the villain and when he actually turns up at the eleventh hour you’re just annoyed.
2 ANNOYED STARS for this one.

A dark cavern where conversations go to die

I promised you musings and ramblings, and now I’m ready to deliver. I will be posting reviews of the show “You” that’s available on Netflix. I’m watching season 1, and will be reviewing all the episodes, publishing one review a day. I will be posting my ramblings just as they are – one proof-read for errors, and then off they go, no internal editor. Let’s see how it goes. And obviously, SPOILER ALERT!

SEASON 1, EPISODE 5

  • Joe is the last real feminist left in this Bachelor-watching world. You go, Joe!
  • “Lynn is a dark cavern where conversations go to die.”
  • Peach can’t be this easily fooled by Joe, right? Right? And of course they had to bring James Franco into this. I’m surprised his name didn’t come up sooner.
  • Need any more proof that Beck is the worst? How about letting Peach look through Joe’s apartment when he’s not home? Girl searched through all his drawers and stuff – and Beck just stood there. And then had the nerve to snipe at Joe.
  • No, Beck. You’ve got TWO stalkers, and why they’re both obsessed with you, I’ll never know.
  • Of course Peach is still alive, you idiot! I think we’ve established that you’re incapable of bludgeoning a person on the head once and killing them for good. Has the Benji incident taught you nothing?! Even if Peach didn’t see you behind her, you left the rock with her blood and your fingerprints next to the crime scene, you moron! I swear, you and Beck deserve each other. Two idiots.