by Arina Bocharova
It would seem that the morning began as usual. The sun was still shining outside the window, and the coffee machine had already brewed a new cup of coffee according to the timer. However, that day I felt differently, as if I would now leave the room, and someone unknown outside the door would give me a million dollars. This feeling is familiar to everyone when you have been waiting for something for a very long time and finally it knocks on your door. When I finally left my hideout to look for that very cup of coffee, I did not find anyone outside the door, only my dog stood faithfully at the door with a collar in its teeth. I poured coffee into a thermos and went on a routine walk with my pet. The music on my player was incredibly inspiring, even though the album that was playing had been familiar to me for eight years. Each word of each song echoed something dear and so close. A moment later, I again remembered what day it was and turned up the volume o the player.
Going back eight years, I would not have believed if someone told me that all these years I would be waiting for a regular concert. Then I first heard the song “Give me love” by Ed Sheeran, and later the whole album “Plus”. I’ve never felt music like this before. Since then, each album of this singer evokes in me a lot of emotions, from goose bumps and tears to laughter and happiness. My big dream was to see at least once how this music was born on the stage, what emotions the artist himself experienced during his performance, to understood how a huge stadium experienced the same emotions as me.
I also remember my first disappointment, which overtook me during my first trip to England. Ed Sheeran played a small concert in Manchester, but when I found out about it, I could not buy a ticket. On the day of the concert, it was difficult for me to hold back my tears and understand how close I was to my dream, but still I could not fulfill it. Three years later, disappointment overtook me again. During Ed’s big tour, I decided to go to Rome to finally see this show live. Having received all the documents and bought a plane ticket, I was like a loyal dog waiting for the start of ticket sales. On the day of the start, having entered the site exactly at the specified time, I was again overtaken by a failure. Tickets sold out in just four minutes. Rainy – that’s what I’ll call my trip to Rome. And I’m not talking about precipitation.
I was pulled out of my memories by a call from a friend who gleefully declared that she could no longer wait for the evening. I myself could not believe that today my eight-year-long dream will come true. On this day, we were to go to the Ed Sheeran concert as part of the Divide tour.
When I returned home, I turned on the speakers and the whole house played an already memorized album. Every line was learned, and every note sounded like a symphony. I redid all the routine things and started getting ready for a year. The very thought that today in Moscow I would hear what I had been waiting for eight years worried me more and more as the concert approached.
Getting ready did not take too long, but even a week before the event, I decided exactly what I would wear and what hairstyle I would do. While getting ready, I found my little instant camera, took my car keys and drove out to the stadium. When I started the car, the melody that I had last heard at home played from the speakers. And I again plunged into the words of the song and memories. As I approached the concert venue, my hands began to shake, and goose bumps ran through my body. When I parked, I realized that the battery on my phone was almost dead, and then I felt a slight pang of disappointment. All day listening to music, I forgot that I needed to recharge my phone. I was sad that I would not be able to film most of the concert.
My friend was waiting for me at the main entrance. When I approached her, I began to shake even more, I could not believe that some forty minutes separated me from the most exciting concert in my life. The stadium was huge, the first thing I thought was how so many people could fit in this hall. There were many foreigners around me, people from completely different parts of the world came here to share this energy and listen to the music that united us. After talking with some, I learned that they often travelled to different countries to attend Ed’s concerts and that every new show is like the first for them.
Every sound coming from the side of the stage seemed deafening to me. I couldn’t wait for the start. My friend was always actively talking about something, but I did not listen to her. All my thoughts were somewhere far off stage. Suddenly the lights went out and a spotlight appeared on the stage. I expected to see a lot of musicians, but he stood alone. There were some tools and a computer around him. An amazing sight began to take place on the stage. It was as if I had stopped breathing. The singer recorded beats and music right in front of a crowd of thousands before starting to perform his track. It was so real and so exciting. Ed spent the entire concert on stage alone, he himself played music and sang. The crowd roared, each song sung in unison. And during some songs, the hall was painted in different colors of Ed’s album covers. Each line of his songs echoed in me with a thousand memories with which they were associated. I remember the storm of emotions that guided me at that moment. I cried and laughed, grieved and felt grateful.
How much can a person connect with music? Are we playing tunes just for fun? That evening, I could definitely answer these questions. My whole life was connected with this music, the experience that I got for many years was associated with a certain song. It was a kind of psychotherapy for which you do not need to pay or find time for. It’s like having a good conversation with a friend, only this friend will never turn away from you and will always be on your side.
When the last melody died down, it seemed to me that something was taken away from me or forgotten to return it back. Something was missing. It sure wasn’t the million dollars that no one has ever brought me this morning. Only when I approached my car, I realized that the dream was not enough. That distant goal that I have been striving so desperately for for eight years. It’s strange how one day can be the happiest and at the same time the saddest in life.